Putallicious🌹
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Days come when I feel I have outgrown my triage mindset and am ready to test the limits of what I am capable of again. But I know the volatility of my mind, its sadistic, twisted will. Trying again is like opening the door to a basement where the ghosts of demons are kept, hoping none are still alive.
Man, I’m still trying to figure out how everything went wrong so fast
It’s a literal curse and blessing, falling for someone you never thought you’d fall for
It’s hard finding a reason to wake up anymore
thats the thing about time, no amount is ever enough. you always want another day, or another week or even another entire year. and the worse part is you don’t understand the importance of time unless it’s already running out and you feel like chasing it. thats the thing about time. ask someone whose been diagnosed with cancer or is waiting for months to meet their loved ones or is away at war. ask them because they understand time better than we do, we who have it in abundance. thats the thing about time, its hard to understand and even harder to appreciate when you have it. thats the thing about time, its always running out.
Maybe, maybe I’m just over reacting and being too sensitive like you always think I am. Just maybe I am. But god knows this isn’t something I can deal with so easily. It never has been. Having to question my worth day in and day out, wondering if I’m ever going to be good enough, because I seem to never be. Really takes a toll on you, in a way that you don’t even understand anymore
I tried so hard to keep myself together today after you sent me a message saying “I’m sorry I just don’t wanna talk.” I tried so hard to keep myself together. I tried so hard. I went to work, I got high all day, got my nails done and still came home to me laying in my bed re-reading those words and sinking in my bed like I had no meaning…
I tried so hard but still broke at the end of the day
I think we feel it the most at night
because at the end of the day our
hearts just want to be home, but our
homes aren’t always where we rest
our heads.
spongebobssquarepants
